Subject: RESULTS and ANSWER KEY for Golden Oldies Lyrics Quiz 299 (GOLQ299)
From: Tom and Rick <golq299@golq.org>
Date: 1/6/2012 7:07 AM
Message-ID: <20120106130711.77294.qmail@nezumi.pair.com>
RESULTS and ANSWER KEY for Golden Oldies Lyrics Quiz #299 (GOLQ299)
I (Tom) admit it . . . GOLQ299 was borne out of jealousy, sour grapes,
and a touch of cynicism. As an aspiring wannabe singer/songwriter for
the past 40 years, and one who has yet to figure out how to crack the
code to make the big-time, I have spent countless hours refining my lyrics
after reading tips from the professionals; assessing feedback after pitching
songs to various publishing houses; and, studying the songs that made the
charts. I don't claim to have been treated unfairly in my quest, but I
have scratched my head many times as to why my material has taken a second
seat to the likes of "Gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread, gingerbread,
gingerbread, gingerbread . . ." and "Yummy yummy yummy, I've got love in
my tummy." I can only conclude that once you are in the driver's seat as
an artist, writer, or producer, you can produce whatever drivel you want,
cram it down the public's throat, and it will at least hit the charts.
So, this month we created GOLQ299 to highlight songs that, in our opinion
(and we realize our opinion is purely subjective), represent material that
would have gotten the average Joe (or Tom) kicked out on his ear if he walked
in off the street and said to a publisher/record label, "Look what I've got!"
The theme, as many of you rightly guessed, is "Dumb and Dumber," with the title
taken from the Jim Carrey movie of the same name. While many of the songs are
novelty, being a novelty song in and of itself does not qualify as dumb. In
fact, some novelty songs are quite clever, but there is sometimes a thin line
between clever and dumb. For example, "The Chipmunk Song" was clever in concept
and in playing with tape speeds and technologies of the day; "The Alvin Twist"
was just a dumb spin-off and couldn't have taken more than minutes to create,
record, and produce. Likewise, "Monster Mash" was clever; spinoff "Monsters'
Holiday" was dumb. Also, dumb is taking a proven chord progression and creating
banal lyrics based on a fad, like "My baby does the hanky-panky," or, "We love
you Beatles, oh yes we do, we don't love anyone as much as you." Some of the
worst offenders were not used in this GOLQ because they were ineligible due
to the re-use rule (Senator Bobby's "Wild Thing" comes to mind).
So, having gotten all that off my chest, hopefully without being too cynical,
"Congratulations" goes to the eight entrants who, while they may or may not
agree with us as to what is "dumb and dumber," impressively identified all 25
songs and both tie breakers. Median score was 500++ and mean was 434.
Howard Teitelbaum has already posted milestone GOLQ300.
Tom and Rick <golq299@Golq.org>
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tie Breaker Scoring Key
+ after numeric score below indicates a tie-breaker answered correctly.
- indicates partial credit.
x indicates a totally incorrect guess.
. indicates no guess.
# on
Pos Score ID Name and E-mail address Team Age(s)
---+-----+--+------------------------------------------------------+--+-------
01 500++ RR Really Rockin' In Boston <rardini&cox.net> 7 50s,60s
01 500++ GT The GenaTeam <ah.rh&optusNet.com.au> 6 43-63
01 500++ EJ The EJ'S & Co. <brombere&matc.edu> 7 25+
Ellis, Jean, Kevin, Carl, Kyra, Mitch, Vinnie
01 500++ RX Roxie <roxie1971&aol.com> 1 (?)
01 500++ MW Mike Weaver <oldtunes&sbcglobal.net> 1 64
01 500++ WM Will McCorry <wmccorry&ns.sympatico.ca> 1 54
01 500++ GC The Gypsy Caravan <iriss&aol.com> 4 old
01 500++ DT Delphi Trivia Club <rcwkid99&rochester.rr.com> 7 40+
RussII, HQRQ, broadwa, Jags,
DJLovesKids, Clueless, DVALPirate
09 500.. VH Virve Harkonen <virve_harkonen&hotmail.com> 1 31
10 480+. MT Mick Tursky <eriador1972&yahoo.com> 1
11 395++ DC DEC & Friends <cockran57&gmail.com> 6 various
12 410+. VS Vito & Salutations <baileyl&colorado.edu> 4 B'mers
13 400+. CO The Coasters <rns&san.rr.com> 5 59-62
R&K Schubert, Bigfoot Mae, Magic Marc, Regina Litman
14 240+. TT Team Teitelbaum <Howard.Teitelbaum&gd-ais.com> 4 49-61
Howard, Bonnie, Patty, Pat
15 80.. JR Jessica Raine <jraine&bostonconservatory.edu> 1 37
---+-----+--+------------------------------------------------------+--+-------
Pos Score ID Name and E-mail address # on Age(s)
Team
The following table gives the individual scoring breakdown. A "-" is used to
indicate that no guess was made for a question, whereas a zero indicates that
a completely incorrect response was submitted.
Song#
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--
RR 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
GT 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
EJ 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
RX 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
MW 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
WM 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
GC 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
DT 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
VH 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
MT 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 - 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20
DC - 20 15 - - 20 20 20 20 20 20 - 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 - 20 20 20 20 20
VS 20 20 - 20 20 - 20 20 20 10 20 20 20 20 20 - 20 20 20 20 - 20 20 20 20
CO - 20 - - 20 - 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 20 - 20 20 20 20
TT 20 20 - - 20 - 20 20 20 - - - 20 - 20 - - 20 20 - - - - 20 20
JR - - - - - - 20 20 - - 20 - - - - - - - - - - - - 20 -
--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--
01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25
______________________________________________________________________________
GOLDEN OLDIES LYRICS QUIZ #295 ANSWERS:
Answers are in the form:
#number) Artist: Title (year[s]) [peak position on Pop chart] {peak R&B}
[-] = did not make pop chart
{-} = did not make R&B chart
{n/c} = no Billboard R&B chart published during this recording's period
of peak popularity
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
============================================================================
I'm writing you this letter
To me you are the most
I'm really not very good at expressing myself
And I don't know how to say it
#01) Audrey: "Dear Elvis (Pages 1&2)" (1956) [87] {-}
Very syrup-y trite tribute to "The King."
You're kinda naughty
But you're naughty and nice
#02) Avalon, Frankie: "Ginger Bread" (1958) [9] {10}
How long, and how much creativity, could it have taken to write the
chorus to this song?
Anyone can play
From three to a hundred and ten
#03) Brewer, Teresa: "The Hula Hoop Song" (1958) [38] {-}
We were originally going to use Teresa's "I Love Mickey," a hokey Mickey
Mantle fad novelty, but it only peaked at #87, and we already had too many
songs that peaked low in the charts, so The Hula Hoop Song was used instead.
Georgia Gibbs is also correct as an artist, but does not fit alphabetically.
You're hip
Now put on your face
And let's join the race
#04) Byrnes, Edd and Friend: "Like I Love You" (1959) [42] {-}
"Kookie, Kookie," was clever; this was an excuse to milk more "Kookie-isms."
We don't love anyone
As much as you
Your singing makes us say
To you
#05) Carefrees, The: "We Love You Beatles" (1964) [39] {n/c}
Probably the most classic example of dumb lyrics capitalizing on a then-
current fad, written to the tune of "We Love You Conrad" from the musical
"Bye Bye Birdie."
We're on our way with a great big sleigh
Full of toys
Choo choo trains and candy canes
For all you girls and boys
#06) Dancer, Prancer and Nervous: "The Happy Reindeer" (1959) [34] {-}
Unoriginal application of the "chipmunk" technology
Ran into the street
Directly into the path
Of a runaway garbage truck
#07) Detergents, The: "Leader of the Laundromat" (1964/65) [19] {n/c}
Could argue that it was clever in spoofing the corn-ball "Leader of
the Pack," but lyrics struck us as dumb
Can you catch it on your tonsils
Can you heave it left and right
#08) Donegan, Lonnie, & His Skiffle Group: "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its
Flavor (On The Bedpost Over Night)" (1961) [5] {-}
Almost didn't include this because the skiffle tune is catchy, but we needed
a high-charting song, and the lyrics really aren't too deep, are they?
The tree was all covered with beautiful moss
It grew lovely meatballs and tomato sauce
#09) Glazer, Tom, and the Do-Re-Mi Children's Chorus: "On Top Of Spaghetti"
(1963) [14] {-}
I (Tom) thought this was dumb when I was in high school...opinion
hasn't changed.
The Green Beret has fallen through that trap door
Into his own alligator pit
He's a real nowhere man
#10) Goodman, Dickie: "Batman and His Grandmother" (1966) [70] {-}
First two Flying Saucer records were clever...this one was really dumb.
We don't smoke and we don't chew
And we don't go with the girls that do
#11) Homer and Jethro: "The Battle Of Kookamonga" (1959) [14] {-}
Another song that was borderline clever in spoofing "Battle Of New Orleans,"
but just a little too corny for us, although we do get amused with the above
lyrics
I saw a kook who was standing on his head
He flipped his lid like he should have been in bed
#12) Ivy Three, The: "Yogi" (1960) [8] {22}
Yogi Bear (great play on words) from "Huckleberry Hound" was clever;
this didn't hack it for us
I never saw her, never ever saw her
My baby
#13) James, Tommy and the Shondells: "Hanky Panky" (1966) [1] {39}
Simple standard rock chord progression; pretty shallow and repetitive lyrics
He looked at her, thought, "What a dilly"
He touched her once, she slapped him silly
#14) Kingsmen, The: "The Jolly Green Giant" (1965) [4] {25}
Same tune as "Big Boy Pete;" lyrics "inspired" by Green Giant vegetable
commercial...must have been corn
Hey boy take off that hat
Where do you think you're at
I know where you gon' be
If you don't heed my plea
#15) Long, Shorty: "Here Comes The Judge" (1968) [8] {?}
Capitalized on the "Laugh-In" gag line.
Watch what happens
When I walk up to somebody
#16) McFadden, Bob, and Dor: "The Mummy" (1959) [39] {-}
Really dumb; hard to believe that Dor was the highly acclaimed lyricist
and poet Rod McKuen
He slid into town one rainy night
Runnin' like a dog away from a fight
He had a pretty big mouth for a guy his size
And everything he said was a pack of lies
#17) McLean, Phil: "Small Sad Sam" (1961/62) [21] {-}
Spoof on "Big Bad John," but lyrics didn't strike us as very clever
Love, you're such a sweet thing
Good enough to eat thing
And that's just what I'm gonna do
#18) Ohio Express: "Yummy Yummy Yummy" (1968) [4] {-}
We rest our case
They were making a list and checking it twice
Frankenstein wanted a shiny new trike
#19) Pickett, Bobby "Boris", and the Crypt-Kickers: "Monsters' Holiday"
(1962/63) [30] {18}
Original Monster Mash was clever; this was dumb
The words you sing I can't figure out
But you've got a sound, make me stomp and shout
#20) Rivingtons: "Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow" (1962) [48] {-}
The words they sang we couldn't figure out either...
You gotta twist way up
You gotta twist way down
You gotta jump, turn
And twist around
Everybody
#21) Seville, David, and the Chipmunks: "The Alvin Twist" (1962) [40] {-}
"Chipmunk Song" was clever; this was a regurgitated rehash of both the
chipmunk and twist fads
And their voices unite
In the pale moonlight
And it sounds alright
Yeah, it's dynamite
It's out of sight
#22) Stevens, Ray: "Gitarzan" (1969) [8] {-}
This was unique in some ways, but struck us as too far off-the-wall
and over-the-top
From the garden
By the garden
Of a willow tree
#23) Tiny Tim: "Tip-Toe Thru' The Tulips With Me" (1968) [17] {-}
Remake of a successful movie song from the late '20's. Still, the imagery
it evokes seems dumb, only exceeded by the image of Tiny Tim doing it.
A-well-a everybody's heard
#24) Trashmen, The: "Surfin' Bird" (1963/64) [4] {_}
One of only three songs identified by everyone. If only I (Tom) could have
come up with these lyrics, I could have been a star...
Pidgeon-toed, undergrowed
#25) Wooley, Sheb: "The Purple People Eater" (1958) [1] {-}
"Witch Doctor" was corny but innovative and a clever use of
pre-Chipmunk technology; this song was corny but seemed like
a spin-off of the "Witch Doctor."
------------
Tie-Breakers
------------
No one will be watching us
#T1) Beatles, The: "Why Don't We Do It In The Road" (1968) {-}
From the White Album. Could this possibly be the other end of the spectrum
of material written by one of my song-writing idols who produced "Yesterday?"
McCartney once was quoted as having written "Live Or Let Die" in fifteen
minutes. This one must have taken fifteen seconds. Beatles had to be starving
for a song to fulfill the required number of album tracks, because this
sounds like superfluous jamming that was converted to a final track.
Well, I set my monkey on the log
And ordered him to do the Dog
He wagged his tail and shook his head
And he went and did the Cat instead
He's a weird monkey, very funky
#T2) Dylan, Bob: "I Shall Be Free, No. 10" (1964) {-}
From the album, "Another Side Of Bob Dylan," which was the last album he
released before he went electric, and which contained several songs with
overtones that were more pop/rock than folk. This song was made up of
eleven non-sensical verses and extemporaneous (it appears) commentary
on life in the U.S., 1964
============================================================================
The following table ranks the songs from most recognized to least recognized.
The first column indicates the average number of points scored on that song
(total points divided by number of entrants). For comparison purposes,
tie-breakers are scored here on the usual 20-point scale.
Avg. Song
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
20.00 #07) Detergents, The: "Leader of the Laundromat"
20.00 #08) Donegan, Lonnie, & His Skiffle Group: "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose
20.00 #24) Trashmen, The: "Surfin' Bird"
18.67 #02) Avalon, Frankie: "Ginger Bread"
18.67 #09) Glazer, Tom, and the Do-Re-Mi Children's Chorus: "On Top Of Spagh
18.67 #11) Homer and Jethro: "The Battle Of Kookamonga"
18.67 #13) James, Tommy and the Shondells: "Hanky Panky"
18.67 #15) Long, Shorty: "Here Comes The Judge"
18.67 #18) Ohio Express: "Yummy Yummy Yummy"
18.67 #19) Pickett, Bobby "Boris", and the Crypt-Kickers: "Monsters' Holiday
18.67 #25) Wooley, Sheb: "The Purple People Eater"
17.33 #T1) Beatles, The: "Why Don't We Do It In The Road"
17.33 #05) Carefrees, The: "We Love You Beatles"
17.33 #17) McLean, Phil: "Small Sad Sam"
17.33 #22) Stevens, Ray: "Gitarzan"
17.33 #23) Tiny Tim: "Tip-Toe Thru' The Tulips With Me"
16.67 #10) Goodman, Dickie: "Batman and His Grandmother"
16.00 #01) Audrey: "Dear Elvis (Pages 1&2)"
16.00 #12) Ivy Three, The: "Yogi"
16.00 #14) Kingsmen, The: "The Jolly Green Giant"
16.00 #16) McFadden, Bob, and Dor: "The Mummy"
16.00 #20) Rivingtons: "Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow"
14.67 #04) Byrnes, Edd and Friend: "Like I Love You"
14.67 #06) Dancer, Prancer and Nervous: "The Happy Reindeer"
14.67 #21) Seville, David, and the Chipmunks: "The Alvin Twist"
14.00 #03) Brewer, Teresa: "The Hula Hoop Song"
12.00 #T2) Dylan, Bob: "I Shall Be Free, No. 10"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom and Rick <golq299@Golq.org>